FNL_INSPIRED Vol 2_Spring

30 INSPIRED VOL 2 Choices he wind picked up, and the paddleboard rocked be- neath my feet. Paddle in hand, I did my best to balance myself to stop from falling into the lake. My daughter also adjusted her weight behind me. When either of us moved slightly to one side without talking to the other first, the cold water splashed on us. My daughter laughed; I cringed. The reality didn’t match what I’d envisioned. In my imagination, I saw us crossing the lake like a sophisticated rowing team in tandem; instead, we were clumsy and argu- ing about who would paddle. Then I remembered my reasons for wanting to paddleboard, one being for the fun of it, and two, to overcome a fear of the water. Or as my subconscious mind likes to remind me, “The deep, dark unknown where alien creatures lurk in wait of unsuspecting humans.” Even so, I determined not to give in and succumb to fear but to go out again the next day and the next until I became more comfortable. In the past, I’ve talked myself out of water sports by telling myself, “Don’t all people have fears? It’s not a big deal; be- sides, the water can be dangerous, etc.” But I became a dev- otee twenty years ago and took an oath to live a fearless life, and I feel like my soul is calling me to give such things a try. Also, overcoming such fear, or at the very least confronting it, will boost my confidence and my belief in myself. I resolved to keep focused on the goodness within me, be- lieving in the beauty and truth of my heart’s small yet im- portant desire. The subconscious mind stores our fears, like incriminating documents tucked away in a back room that suddenly re- appears during times of heightened uncertainty. Laying be- fore us, they taunt, “What about this, huh?” Referring to a T FEAR OR FAITH by Shana Lee Gibson “If we can keep our balance, and pay attention to what the other is doing, we can prevent a fall,” I reassured my daughter, who was clearly less concerned than I was. We laughed and teased each other. She threatened to bounce on the board. Then we made it to the shore, satisfied with our adventure, me a little more frazzled than her. I reflected, “Had my adventurous spirit gone with age?”